My weekend

Hey blogger. It's been a long weekend. It was really good and I think something weird is happening inside me. I had a great time with Jennifer at the play which really made me laugh and then we came back and had some intimacy which was nice. I think I'm finally feeling comfortable with her, everything feels good. I didn't get as much work as I would have liked done this week but I did have a good time and I feel less stressed. I thought it might be prudent to write to you instead of pat. I almost began writing to him like I used to but that would be unnecessary. Things have been going better when we speak less. Naturally I still have unrequited love with kathleen and I don't know how to deal with that but I am one day at a time. School sucks as usual but I'm trying not to let it get to me. I've been practicing karate a lot less which most likely isn't good for me but it's another thing I've had to stop worrying about. I feel good but paranoid. Well, I hope everything turns out ok. I could go on about this weekend forever but I think it's better I get some sleep.

Busy Monday

Hey mein blog. Todays the first day of my new job and it's going to be a busy day at best. Jennifer and I got to spend the night which is always nice. I only wish I wasn't so physically attracted to her so that I could say more jokes and watch tv. But it really was nice. I might even get a little while to work out today which would make my day. I have reading in most my classes and a little homework in dynaimcs

Damn

Damn blogger I am so busy I feel like I've been knocked back a few rows on Maslows Pyramid of needs. I have to meet Jennifer's parents tonight and do all my work. I'm going to explode or die. Who knows. I'll be burned out by ten and then I'll just write to people or something. Wish me luck.

Depression

Hello mein blog. I don't care how happy or strong I seem to my friends. Or even that I'm usually a little depressed and neurotic. Tonight I'm seriously depressed and I don't know why. I think I'm really, really lonely. My best friend pat and I, I don't know, we never talk like we used to. I know her tries his best to put up with my patheticness but I feel like a parasite most the time. Maybe I shouldn't be talking about stuff right now since I'm so depressed. I just need less work on my shoulders, more free time from the people down here and something exciting to do by myself. I need something to talk about so my friends will actually want to talk to me. I don't know why, I just feel like killing myself. Feels like my life is over even though everything has fallen into place. I guess I just don't really have friends. Real friends that I like to hang out with like pat and kathleen. I need one of those really bad. Jennifer is nice though but she's just not quiet that friend yet. I don't know what to do blog. I could end it but then I'd just be back at square one. I'm really scared about my homework this week too but I'm so neurotic tonight all I can do is play battlefield 2 and it makes me compound the sadness. And tomorrow on my drive home, my time for myself my roommate and a friend have invited themselves for me to drive an hour off course to drop them off. Fuck those guys. At least my job was postponed till monday and karate will only be once a week now. I just feel like collapsing and crying. I hope this feeling dies or I will.

Jennifer

Hey blogger, I had a long talk with Jennifer and it feels like everything is going to be alright. We always go through these cycles of stress and relaxation and I guess it makes out relationship strong. I promise to work hard never to take her for granted and to try and relax. Thats all for now mein blog. Goodnight

Jennifer

Oh god, I'm starting to become an ass. I need to be super careful. I've let stress and being so busy go to my head and I'm starting to treat Jennifer like a thing instead of the good girl she is. We really need to talk more tonight than anything else. I just need to relax and just accept life. I don't know what to do to become good again. I just need to settle down and stop being so busy.

Tuesday

Hello blogger. I'm back again. Today's been a better day but I'm still somewhat exhausted. After speaking with Jennifer frankly we've both decided to stop scheduling days not to see each other. I'm sure life will be busy enough with this job I'm getting. I need to look into buying a book on how to improve relationships and things. I'm exhausted but I'm looking forward to karate tonight. I need to get out and do something physical or I'm going to explode. I hope lydia is doing ok. I don't know if I'll have the energy to help her much more. I haven't heard from pat in a while either. He's probably exhausted and busy. More later blogger and believe me there is much more.

Good god

Good god things are getting busy around here really fast. I got a 93 on my last material science exam and I'm still failing the class due to homework. I'm getting a job working on selective laser wintering research for 3d printing of artificial parts which will be fun but that's just another layer of stress onto my layer cake life. I think my head is going to explode. If Jennifer wasn't there I wouldn't know what to do but I'm worried I wouldn't treat her right. Now my knee is busted too so I can barely walk and most of my karate is out of the question. I don't know what to do blog. I wish pat was here just because he calms me down. Jennifer calms me down too but I'm still an emotional basket case so I'm not sure what to do. I just love that girl that's all. I really do. I don't really want to say it but she's awesome.

Talk to you later blog, it's back to work for me. (X_x)~o